My 2 cents here is to immediately take 100% control of your finances yourself, and don't give her a dime that you don't agree with where it is being spent. Including her phone bills if you are paying for them.
You wife is not acting like a wife, and it doesn't sound like she has any interest in being a wife right now. So stop pretending that she is.
One thing you do and must have control over is your money. It's your money! You must immediately become 100% responsible for knowing and managing where every single dime of it is going.
IMHO, there is no reason to continue financing the affairs of an uncommitted spouse.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
