SBH:

Every sitch is different. I know you have read Timmy T sitch because I have seen you post, in that scenario I agree with that approach. In Navys case i do not. She has moved close to her support base. She has not prevented him from seeing the kids. She is not in a R with someone else. She has felt hurt and lonely for a long time in the M so she left.

Is she right?

Who knows.

What you are suggesting is an escalation where right now doesn't need to be one.

If the goal is to try and save your M then I don't see how escalating will do that.

DBing is about taking care of yourself, I agree, in you go about doing that by first recognizing what you have done to contribute to the decline of your M, only then can you really begin to grow. Is his W's decision to leave one that I condone,no ofcourse not. I don't condone my W leaving either, but I understand it.

The time to fight for the kids might come I just don't feel he is at that point.

Quote:
What happened to MEN in this country? It's like the pussification of men!

I don't know what you mean? Why aren't we locking our women up in the basement or coming at them both guns blazing? I will continue to grow as a person and as a man. If my W and I get back together then great, if not I will survive. I will NOT lose myself in the process, but I will grow and continue to be better.

I have to take accountability for my actions in this, if not I will repeat it.

Quote:
your kids should be your life!

I agree with this statemtn. What is better for the kids at this point? For Navy to draw a line in the sand and escalate things or for him to continue to exercise patience and continue to grow as a person. What is better for the kids? For Navy to maintain a good R with his W regardless of the outcome or for them to end up like so many other D couples and be enemies.

In my case it is different because W and I had no children, I have a D from a previous M. I can tell her to walk anytime with no loss to either one of us. I have chosen to stand for my M until I chose not to. She does not determine my timeline only I do.

Quote:
I want my wife back as we all do, BUT not at ANY cost

I agree with this also. There are lines I will not cross. Nowhere have I read or heard that the best approach is to stick your head in the sand and allow your spouse to walk all over you. I will grow as a person. I will not lose myself in order to save my M.


BITS