It's me that's cycling!

[goodattitudegirl]

Cas,

Wow! Lots of small, forward movement, all in one evening!!!!!!!!!! I will give you the standard reminder first........."H moved toward you last night, so don't be surprised if he pulls a way for a bit"............... now on to the debrief (GAG rubs her hands together, to signify her anticipation).

H was dressed in a shirt the kids had given him for his birthday (I selected it). He looked more dressed than I have seen him in a while.

This ^^^^^ shows effort and forethought on H's part. Is it possible that H remembers that this was a birthday gift from his family? If so, I'd say his wearing it wass thoughtful.

I noticed a water feature and a wall hanging which ow had given him were still in the same place so that was a clue of her ongoing existence.

It's possible that he just LIKES these items and that's why he is keeping them but that they don't hold sentimental value for him.

when he went to pour again I stopped him as I had to drive but he suggested I could get a taxi rather than drive. (Hmmm, i thought, he's not worried if ow sees my car there all night) He offered to bring my car back in the morning for me.

I agree with you that THAT ^^^^ is significant.

H made a second meal of it for me to take with me as well.

Another thoughtful gesture. Making a meal is a fair amount of work. It would have been easier for him to just take you to a restaurant, but he didn't.

H asked after my family and a couple of friends and told me he had been in email contact with one of my brothers............In the conversation there were a few little practical care indications like checking I had flood insurance and suggesting I was working too hard and to be careful with my health. Twice he randomly asked me if I was alright/ok throughout the evening. When he asked about work and I told him I was feeling quite tired and run down he said that he had noticed I was looking a little pale.

More movement forward..........

In the dining room I noticed a new photo frame with photos of the kids and H's family. No indications of photos of ow.

More movement forward..........Did H have photos of OW framed at his place before?

D.....whispered, " The portrait is gone!" Ow had had this tacky portrait done which she gave to H for his birthday a few years ago and it had been hanging in H's bedroom. D said the hook was still there but the portrait was not!

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^ I think is pretty significant, especially since the hook was still there (D is a good little detective ). If the hook wasn't there I would think it was possible the portrait had fallen because the hook came loose from the wall and the portrait was out being repaired.......Interesting.......

So, what's all this mean? Well ow is gone so this is something to celebrate!! Is there a replacement in the wings? Maybe....they say men never leave one without having another lined up but that wouldn't explain my invitation tonight.

I agree that it sounds like OW is gone. She is probably trying to get back into his life but if their break up was rancorous, her attempts will probably only serve to irritate him.

I think that NOW is the time to soften up toward H a bit. He will be looking for something to fill the void left by OW and your going dim recently. If you don't fill that void he will find someone else who will. ..........Interesting. Once again I think that you and I are in a similar situation with respect to our OW/GF's having recently left the scene. It's hard to know how to proceed,.......or to know whether we actually DO want to proceed..........The way I look at it is that this will be the final push for me. If my XH doesn't make significant forward progress this time (I have a 6 month timeline in mind) I am really fine with moving on. When I told Jody (DB coach) a couple months ago that I suspected GF#2 was gone or on her way out, she said that NOW was an opening to try to move things forward.

I've spent a lot of time reading and re-reading the part of the book "I Do Again" by Jeff & Cheryl Scruggs in which Jeff writes about what he was thinking and doing during the time that he changed from refusing to consider reconciliation with Cheryl, to the time when he knew that he wanted to M her again. I'm going to post this on my thread, hopefully today.

Sorry this was so long. I've been busy too and have chosen sleep over posting recently.

GAG