......are these itty bitty baby steps?

[Sanderika]

Hi GAG,

I think your evening went very well indeed.

It was very cool that during the game you let XH play. He played as to release all his anxieties. He played hard which was a wonderful outlet for him emotionally.

You are giving XH a place to be open and honest and the friendship that has been recreated is comfortable enough that he can show his true self and feelings. XH needs this right now, he has a lot of emotions to process and it feels really good when someone who cares listens (really listens) to him. This is meaningful to him whether he wants to talk about his mother or ball bearings.

For your XH to change his clothes IN FRONT OF YOU is absolutely a gigantic event. This proves he is relaxed and comfortable with you.

I can remember when my H left at first there were a couple of instances where he had to change in front of me at the office and he very modestly turned his back to me. I can remember the first time, it made a huge statement to me....it was crushing. After time has passed he has grown more comfortable and now will change facing me while I sit and watch.

The fact that XH is sharing the details about his day to day is another BIG sign that he is warming to you. He trusts that you are concerned and caring enough to want to listen and sharing is an opening of himself. AS IN MY WORLD HERE, if you remember back a while ago, he guarded every event in his world no matter how big or small. When the wall was high and solid between you, he barely recognized your existence let alone shared anything with you regarding himself. Look where your XH is today...things are reconciling between you.

((((GAG)))) you have so many good signs. Keep a steady approach with XH. You can do this as I think he is receptive and sees that a genuine, warm, valuable relationship with you is emerging.

The time may be right for you both. It will require a slow and consistent behavior on your part.

Next time you see Mr. GAG....KISS HIM.

Sanderika