He definitely isn't firing on all emotional cylinders. At one time his children and I, were the most important things in his life. Now, throwing us under the bus sounds like a good option to him if it gets him what he thinks he wants and deserves, because after all, he's been so miserable since he married and had children with me, it's his turn to be happy. Whatever...
I know that feeling so well. I often think my now xh just wishes I didn't exist. He would be richer, and not have to deal with all those difficult emotions.
This feeling of entitlement is weird. I have a good friend who had a MLC and has sorted himself out. He says he felt trapped by the choices he and his wife had made, and resentful. This entitled him, in his view at the time, to have an affair. It was both an escape and a punishment of his wife ane family. I don't think there is discussion of the fact that our spouses are punishing us for how they feel. it isn't just anger at themselves. They are angry with us and want to hurt us in the most painful ways they can - an affair, and ideally reducing us to poverty. Perhaps not all of them, but many MLCers seem to do this.
NOW he sees it was a huge mistake. His wife didn't DB at all. Kicked him out, and got on with her life. Interestingly he wants his marriage back, and would do anything, but she doesn't.
