Dbing can work, imo, on people who are emotionally firing on all cylinders. It is a good approach to treating others, but where people are really off beam, sometimes we have to say it as it is, just as we would to our children and friends
Beatrice, I think you are so right in this statement. DBing has helped in so many of my Rs. It is now a way of communicating and seeing things differently than I sometimes did before.
With MLCers depending on where they are in the tunnel, I don't think it matters much. He definitely isn't firing on all emotional cylinders. At one time his children and I, were the most important things in his life. Now, throwing us under the bus sounds like a good option to him if it gets him what he thinks he wants and deserves, because after all, he's been so miserable since he married and had children with me, it's his turn to be happy. Whatever...
