Happy Birthday! It's still Friday here, but it's Saturday where you are. Is Saturday really your birthday? or is it just a birthday dinner day? Is birthday dinner at H's place still on? I hope that you are doing something special for yourself to celebrate your birthday in addition to dinner.
You are one special lady! Very few choose to travel the journey you have taken over the past few years. You have been true to your sense of commitment and modeled personal integrity to D. I wish all of the happiness you deserve in the year to come.
............I've been meaning to post to you something I read recently in Jed Diamond's book "Mr. Mean: Saving Your Relationship form the Irritable Male Syndrome". I wanted to share it with you because you and I have both been puzzled about what it might look like when an MLC man emerges from the tunnel. Diamond writes "One of the great pleasures I get....... is seeing people break through their denial and realize there are things they can do to make their lives more joyful and to have the kind of R they long for. It's an interesting and somewhat mysterious process. For one man, a book jumps out at him in the library, the fog in his mind clears, and he's ready to address these issues. For another man it's a long and difficult process. He resists and resists and it seems he's never going to be willing to recognize how much Irritable Male Syndrome (IMS) is affecting his life. Then one day something shifts inside and he's ready to work..........After helping men, and the women who love them, for over 40 years, I've come to believe that every man will recognize that IMS is a problem. It's just a question of when. Sometimes he "gets it" all at once. Sometime he gets a little piece of the puzzle at a time."
Diamond goes on to say that it helps IMS men to deal with their IMS if they learn to recognize what triggers their reactions. He says "Usually the triggers take us back to some earlier time in our life. Rather than just interacting with those in the here and now, we are actually interacting with shadows of the past. It could be our mother, our father, a brother, sister, grandparent, previous spouse, etc.
It was interesting to read the perspective of a male therapist who has worked in this area for many years.
Please let us know how your evening turns out, OK?
