Walk-a-way Chicken

[hope2011]

I came here months ago to DB and even got my H to try again but through it all I have realized... He's a jerk and I deserve so much better. My old threads are on newcomers, I can't figure out how to copy and paste on a blackberry. Someone help and post my 2 old threads?

Also, can you read browser history on phone bills? I don't have internet at home now but by phone so its very hard to get here but I think about and pray for all my BITS every day. I miss you guys!

Things here the same on the outside but on the inside I'm dying it feels. So I working hard at increasing my income to get out of here and find myself daydreaming of my own apartment, giving up on men and visiting a sperm bank to start a family of my own before all my eggs crack. That dream makes me happy, gives me hope.

H is trying but still has his moments. His temper, dishonesty, unfaithfulness overshadow all his attempts. Short of him taking and passing a lie detector test, reversing his vasectomy and begging my forgiveness... I am done. I don't trust him, don't think he's sorry at all and I know my dreams mean nothing to him. Who wants 50 yrs of that? On the outside I'm still DBing though, makes life more tolerable here.

Slowly finding me and valuing me again.