...the teacher appears

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Hey Sage,

Sounds to me like your newsletter makes a tremendous impact.

Not only did you have a great night...but he also called up to ask you on a date for tonight!

Woo hoo!!

Great job!!

Hugs.

[shinybear]

180s? 180s? Geez Sage, do you mean you're going to turn back around into the pre-bomb Sage?

JK!!! I just think you put too much pressure on yourself! Not being IN your sitch, it's hard to see what 180s you could make!!

Shiny

[sage]

180s? 180s? Geez Sage, do you mean you're going to turn back around into the pre-bomb Sage?

JK!!! I just think you put too much pressure on yourself! Not being IN your sitch, it's hard to see what 180s you could make!!

Shiny

So...it's more about personal 180s so I can kick myself in the butt on occasion...

I did implement a 180 today...

I got FULL FAT potato chips out of the machine instead of pretzels or eating my whole wheat crackers from home. Apparently 180 refers to my weight at the end of implementing all of this!!!

That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about...wearing a color I normally wouldn't, going to a movie/concert/class I wouldn't normally....maybe I should call it something else!

On another note...here's a thought I had today (post awesome morning phone call and date invite!):

I was thinking this morning that I think I might be missing a fundamental point with h...he VERY often responds positively to me when I let him know how much being with him means to me....lately I've been holding back on that (hell, since I started DB'ing!) because I know he's busy with school and illness...I actually wonder what might have happened if I had said to him...I would really love to be able to spend an hour with you of alone time...would you look at your schedule over the next day or two and let me know if you can fit that in?

Point is...I think sometimes my desire to "go with the flow" not only makes me a bit pent up (in terms of wanting to be with him) but may hide from him how important it is to me.

Sage

[RMC]

Hey Sage,
So when do you let them know you love spending time with them? I guess we're not suppose to do that until the R has reached a certain level.
My H always said OW WANTED him, he felt WANTED by her and not by me. SO....my question is, since he said that is one of the things that he was attracted by, what should I do???
Help! Rachael

[Phoenix_In_Bloom]

Sage,

One thing I've been doing with my husband is telling him, "I really enjoyed spending time with you the other night. That made me really happy."

That way, I'm telling him how much it means to me, yet not asking...I find that when I ask for something he tends to feel controlled.

I hope that helps!

Hugs.

[sage]

Just a quick update...had a really great night with h. It was so good to spend have a date with him! I told him "thank you for our date" after the niht was over but the "thank you" part seemed a bit weird to him? PIB, I'll take your suggestion and say something more like:"I really enjoyed our time together".

He was very excited to see me when I got home. Gave me a giant, passionate kiss and then commented that he hasn't been able to do that in a while (sickness!). We went to dinner...couldn't go to the place we wanted but we rallied and went someplace else. Good conversation all around...he's talking about looking into a part time job/summer thing. That would be SO GREAT for a bunch of reasons...get him out there doing the "Law thang" and also I think it would really ease my mind (and his?) about $$$.

Went to see "It's a Wonderful Life" -- it's starting to become a tradition! Really enjoyed it...you know, the main character could have become a WAH if the angel hadn't come along!

Today is my last day at work until after the new year! I won't be posting as much for the next couple of weeks...and not at all from 12/26 - 12/30! We're heading to NYC.

other good stuff....h remains SO interested in talking with me about my job! Also...we're going to get some xmas shopping done together M/Tues....his interest and openness in doing that is a definite new twist...lots of + signs all around

Ellie...I really feel so different/much better in the last few days...I think you're right that at least part of my questioning/sadness/depression was in response to his pulling back due to illness/stress of school. I'd like to be able to nip my reaction a bit more in the bud next time it comes around...guess I'll add it to my mental database!

Oh...got an A- in my other class so quite the successful semester!

Sage

[sage]

I love my horoscope for today:

You could save yourself a lot of time and energy and initiate a much-needed dialogue. You could also be causing yourself frustration. If you pay attention over the next few days, you'll get a map of where you get hung up on commitment and expectation. These are usually the last ideas people want to give up, and they're also the first ones that get tossed when we decide it's time to be happy and have a little freedom on the planet. What people expect of you is largely in their imagination, but more important, it's largely in yours.


Sage

[CoolHandLuke]

Hmmmmm.... horoscope votes that Sage has been too hard on herself????

[RMC]

WO, I had to read that several times- a little much for my pea sized brain this early. It was pretty profound though.
Commitment and expectaion.
I'm not sure you can have commitment without some kind of expectation. I also think expectation can be a good thing, there just has to be balance between the two.
Um. Anyone know how to get that?
Rachael

[sage]

Hmmmmm.... horoscope votes that Sage has been too hard on herself????

Even h told me last night I need to cut myself some slack... SO...the votes are in and they are unanimous! Now...just gotta construct pages and pages of goals and actions around how to cut myself some slack...(kidding!)

Sage