Piecing is almost harder than before #2...

[XYZ]

I think I need to clarify some things: Some of the things I've written here may not be entirely fair to W. I have said that our working is one-sided. I don't believe that. She is working, it's just in a different way and on a different timetable from me, but she is clearly working.

I have also said that when we talk she just says "You're justifying your actions" and won't hear my side of things. It is true that has said that, and does seem to want to terminate the conversation when it comes to my side of things; however, the following is also true:

my biggest comment to her has been that I thought she sent me mixed messages in the past (say one thing, do another or make contradictory statements at different times, etc). I was for sure, guilty of choosing which one I liked and ignoring the other, but that was my side of the issue. She has made two solid changes that indicate she heard me on that. First, she has made comments about not sending mixed messages (in fact, I think our complete lack of physical intimacy has been because of that and her not wanting to "send the wrong message" - guess that one backfired on me ).

Also, she actually said the other day when she was crying and I hugged her "you said I never told you. I say I did, but maybe I didn't". I replied that I definitely "choose what to listen to and what to ignore and I was sorry for that". She kinda mumbled that and moved on quickly, but was the first time ever that she even hinted at the possibility that she had a role in this.

Some times I want the big steps, but I need to be fair with the small ones. So, to be fair to her and our sitch, I just wanted to scale back some of my statements about it all being "one-sided".

On a good note, just got an unsolicited TM from W "How you doing? ily". I love it when I get those in the middle of the day....