You're right. The weird thing in my sitch is it is the same as before she left. She works nights, so even then it was the same thing. But still... She is acting as if it IS the same. It is not....
BITS
Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.
I think that is why our LRT is so important. To show them just how their lives will change. No more coming home every night to their baby, no family vacations, no family christmas, no more family period! My W and I used to spend long mornings in our bed just talking about all the dreams we had and how we were gonna get there. We need them to remember them, to want them, to want us. However, the worst part is we need to let them go to do this. They need to find them on there own. If we push for it, they will surely pull away. No one likes to feel like they are being persuaded. I have given my W enough contact for a while. She knows I am a good dad, she knows I am sorry for what I did, she knows what I want. Now I must leave her be, control my actions and make sure my little girl feels her daddy's love every day
IW, I applaud you for your work. Yes, you slipped, but you now see what you have done and have put forth a course correction. Very nice!! I too would advise you to go dark for a spell. It was against everything in my fiber to do so, but it seems to have worked. My w is much nicer to me now when we see each other. It will be tough. You will want to pick up that phone. But, for a little while, I would give it a try and see what happens. You already know what will happen if you pursue, so let's see what happens when you don't...
BITS never walk alone!
FOBD
Me: 39 W: 36 T: 15 yrs M: 9 yrs S: 09/10
So you can get on with your search, baby And I can get on with mine And maybe someday we will find, That it wasn't really wasted time...
FOBD you are so right about going dark being hard. I wake up with anxiety every morning. I am holding strong, no contact in a couple of days. I am excited to get my D2 after work and head up north. I am meeting a few friends out tonight. She is never far from my mind but I keep her at bay tonight.
I pray everyday that her A is running its coarse. That the OM is beginning to show his flaws and the appeal is wearing off. When my W and I started dating, we had been together for 3 months. One night we were in bed at her place and just before we went to sleep, she turned to me and said "I love you." I told her the same. I think about this a lot bc she has been with OM for that long no. Has she told him the same??
If she's calling out of habit, then you are right...she needs to stop with that routine. Maybe a short response of, "I call you if I need some help, but D2 and I are like team pro's". (Think she'll get the hint?)
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I was getting ready for work today and putting things in the truck for our trip up north this weekend, when my W called. I considered letting it ring, but as I have stated before, me not answering my phone was a big problem for us. So I answered, she wanted to tell me that she had transfered the money to my account for our mortgage payment, something she could easily have texted me. I said ok and went to end the convo at that, she butted in my goodbye to ask if me and our D2 were still heading north for the weekend? I said yes. She asked a few questions about what we would be up too. I was vague with my answers, but polite. We talked for a few minutes about how I hoped our D2 will sleep for the car ride. We exchanged a few ideas on how to entertain her if she didn't. She told me to have a great weekend a couple of times and I then ended the call. I don't think she likes the going dark technique. Gonna stick to it and see what else happens.
(Think she'll get the hint?)