Given that I just received her divorce papers today, I am surprisingly okay.
I think a big part of that is because I have taken the wise advice of other people on these boards and "prepared for the worst."
And, reading back through my thread, for the most part I feel I am being congruent in my thoughts, feelings, words and behavior, and not just acting "as if".
I'm also taking note of how quickly I was able to manifest my intention of getting her to the DBing table once I got the papers. Within an hour of getting the mail, she was telling she wasn't 100% sure, that "counseling couldn't hurt", and giving me dates to go ahead and book an appointment for us.
Now it is time for me to wait again. It is her birthday on sunday and I know she'll be at work, where I have already arranged to have flowers being delivered to her, I have also sent her kids some gifts to give her from them, so I'm sure I will here from her on sunday if not sooner.
She is going out dancing tonight with her friends, I have no idea what her plans are on friday or saturday night, nor do I intent to ask.
What I am going to do instead is catch up on a little bit more work this evening, firm up plans to go out with my own friends friday night, and then do a little dreamlining.
See if I can get an even clearer down the path of my heart's desire and stride even more confidently in the direction of the things I want for me. Not for anybody else.
Oh yeah one more thing wife said "I love you" when hanging up the phone. I know she still isn't feeling "in love" with me, but "In harmony with God, we can make our Love do anything we want It to."
We'll see how that plays out on Sunday when she opens the birthday invitation I sent her for a spa treatment, full body massage and tantric sex weekend workshop.
We'll see.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
