Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Just out of curiosity, did your wife file for divorce or did you? How are you handling it, emotionally and stuff, I mean?
BITS
How am I handling it? I guess it would depend on when you ask me. Most days I don't even think about it. I am focused on the big picture and I see the D as a small piece of the large puzzle. I would be lying if I said it does not bother me but honestly I think if it goes through I will be in a much better place than she will. You know why? Because I have you guys and I don't say that lightly
I totally can relate to this statement 2. I also think it has alot to do what you said in one of your other posts. Everyone's lives does go back after to the initial shock. WE (the BITS) will be stronger and the WAS's will be stuck. Even though our friends will go back to their lives as well, they will still support us more because we will continue to represent or present ourselves better daily.
You are doing really well. You, my friend, are the one who's not as far of the ledge as you may think, not me!
BITS
M: 48, H: 42 Kids: 0 T: 20 yrs M: 16 yrs. (H's 1st, my 2nd) WAS/MLC: 12/7/09-I'm not the wife HE deserved Came home per L: 12/26/09, Left again: 2/6/10 Served: 10/21/10, D FINAL: 6/15/11
A few minutes later she called and we read 5 Love Languages. Only the first chapter.
2step you mentioned on my thread that our sitch's are very similar. Wow, you are not kidding.
My W knows that I have read the 5 Love Languages and I told her what I believed to be her primary love language. I thought it was Acts of Services, which during our M I failed miserably at.
Anyway, she was in our room last week and made an off the wall joke about "your love languages". I pounced on this opportunity. I said, "since you brought it up, there is a test at the end of the book for women that will help determine what your love language is. If you have a few minutes, I'm curious if you'd like to take the test?".
She agreed and took the time to answer the 30 questions. Acts of Service and Physical Touch were tied as her primary LLs.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Just out of curiosity, did your wife file for divorce or did you? How are you handling it, emotionally and stuff, I mean?
BITS
How am I handling it? I guess it would depend on when you ask me. Most days I don't even think about it. I am focused on the big picture and I see the D as a small piece of the large puzzle. I would be lying if I said it does not bother me but honestly I think if it goes through I will be in a much better place than she will. You know why? Because I have you guys and I don't say that lightly
I totally can relate to this statement 2. I also think it has alot to do what you said in one of your other posts. Everyone's lives does go back after to the initial shock. WE (the BITS) will be stronger and the WAS's will be stuck. Even though our friends will go back to their lives as well, they will still support us more because we will continue to represent or present ourselves better daily.
You are doing really well. You, my friend, are the one who's not as far of the ledge as you may think, not me!
Gypsy,
Welcome back!! Haven't talked to you in awhile. Glad to see you are still around. How are you feeling?
A few minutes later she called and we read 5 Love Languages. Only the first chapter.
2step you mentioned on my thread that our sitch's are very similar. Wow, you are not kidding.
My W knows that I have read the 5 Love Languages and I told her what I believed to be her primary love language. I thought it was Acts of Services, which during our M I failed miserably at.
Anyway, she was in our room last week and made an off the wall joke about "your love languages". I pounced on this opportunity. I said, "since you brought it up, there is a test at the end of the book for women that will help determine what your love language is. If you have a few minutes, I'm curious if you'd like to take the test?".
She agreed and took the time to answer the 30 questions. Acts of Service and Physical Touch were tied as her primary LLs.
LITB,
OK you want to hear something funny. When I first mentioned the book and she agreed I said "According to this author we each have 5 Love Languages, that is the way we feel loved. It would be curious to see what you believe yours is and mine. I have an idea of what I think yours is but I will not share it with you until we are finished with the book. I can tell you then and you can tell me if I am right. Same for you. You can tell me mine and I will confirm it or not."
She said "ok"
Up until now we have only read the first chapter and that was Sunday I believe. Yesterday no contact today there has been 0 contact. This is what I told you about on your thread LITB, prepare for the great convo's and then nothing.
I am still hopeful she will want to continue to read the book but I have to ask when the moment feels right.
