Crawling out of my hole.

[NotFromThesePart]

Had in interesting call w/ stbxw. We've got a house to sell or let go into foreclosure. The call was out of the blue and it was actually while I was in the car on my way to dinner with new "friend" (still won't call her my GF).

She wants to put the house on the market. Basically that means taking the loss. I want to rent it out for another 6-12 months. She has essentially no assets so foreclosure won't impact her much. I own a house from before the marriage and about 80K in 401k.

The discussion goes OK, until I mention a potential scenario whereby I sell my house, borrow from my 401k and refi the other. She gets angry, tells me not to mention things I'll never do. She goes on to say marrying me was the biggest mistake of her life.

She goes on to say that while she doesn't understand the mortgage we have, she agreed to it under the condition that I sell my other house and roll the money into the joint house. I retort that I bought the joint house under the agreement that we'd be married. She said that was never part of the deal!

The discussion of a settlement agreement have started in earnest.

I'm feeling strong, level headed and less emotional than a few months ago. I'm stable in my house and job, had have GALed to the point that most days I have something fun to look forward to. I guess it is time.

I've asked that we set aside an hour a week at a prescribed time to work on the agreement. We both want to avoid lawyers for as long as we can. With the exception of the house there are very few things we don't agree on.