I have been away for the last few days due to a serious illness. I wanted to update you guys on my sitch.
I held off on receiving the last rites yesterday to attended my counselor meeting. Guess who showed? The W, each time I have an appointment I have asked the W to go and this time she accepted. The following are the highlights on the session:
When she arrived she told me straight off not to get my hopes up. She said she decided to come this time to give me/her a chance to ask questions and find out where we stand.
Statments W said:
W-I have never seen him change so much for a such a long period of time. But how do I know he won't change back when he is surrounded by the daily stresses of family life.
M-I understand you feeling that way. Nothing in my history would give you the belief that the changes are for real. I know my words have no meaning but I look forward to showing you every chance I get that I do not want to be that person anymore.
W-I don't think we ever had a healthy/happy marriage.
H-I just listened on that one.
W-I have the D paperwork but haven't given it to you yet because I am still hanging on to the hope of a happy family with Mom, Dad and Kids. Do you just want me to give you the paperwork?
M-That is a decision that you will have to make.
W-I don't feel that I'm in love with you anymore.
M-i can understand that you feel that way and I am well aware that something that took years to break won't be fixed in a few months but I believe that fire is still lite inside of you for me.
She also said that she is in limbo and doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know her next move. She was wondering if we break all contact for sometime to see if there is anything there for us still or do we try build it back up little by little.
Right now we are in a holding pattern. I will give her all the time she needs even if she still leaves. I also told her that I know are M is over and I am glad because what we had was bad and I don't want it anymore.
I know this was long and thx to anybody who reads it.
