Not Sure Which Way to Go

[downandoutintn]

Our sitch was very similar to yours and I didn't take a lot of control over the situations in the R. That is my fault but I thought I was doing her a favor by giving her independence when she really didn't want as much as I was giving. Its not that I can't make decisions, I just wanted to provide her the best life she could possibly have. So this is another 180 that I will have to do. Not a bid deal since I am very competant to make decisions.

Well for us it was more of a I wanted to see them everyday even if only for a couple of hours and she felt the same way. Well I would make sure she received a good night phone call everynight I had the kids and she was not giving the same even though I would tell her to make sure they called before bed. It was a broken promise that she would have them call me that pushed me over the edge. I guess you would say a boundary. So now she gets the kids every Sun-Tue and I get them Wed-Fri and then we swap every other weekend. Really the only thing that is changing for me is I am not seeing them for the possible 2 hours on Tuesday. I was seeing them before. Also I have them on Saturdays while she works.

I do my part with the kids. I am making sure everything is 50/50 when it relates to them (the money, the care, and neccessities) When the kids are with me they are taken care of. I started by keeping them for a week overnight when she said she was overburden by them and then have been keeping them at least a night a week when since then. Now I am taking control due to her negligence towards me with respect to the kids and that is unacceptable, plus I enjoy my time with them as I always have. Boys need their Dad and I want to make sure I am there unlike my father.

My actions of giving them a bath was not neccessary but it is what I wanted to do for them not for her. They needed to get to bed and if I didn't do it then it may have been another 30 mins to and hour before she did it and S5 had to go to school. So I took control.