Not Sure Which Way to Go

[downandoutintn]

I read the whole thread. There are a few things that I have not mentioned on here that need to resolved with the kids. Are there any specifics you are talking about. One that I can think of is her calling me and accusing me of stuff. She doesn't want to be treated that way and neither do I.

[downandoutintn]

So your W calls you up next week and want's to talk R....
What do you do?

The first thing I am going to do is listen to what she has to say and listen some more and reaffirm where needed.

I have been through this before and I too jumped in too quickly. I will not make the same mistake twice.

I will push back because I am hesitant to get back into this. I would say something to the effect of I am not sure as to which way I want to go with this. There is 2 sides of this for me. I will need some time to think about this and what I want to do.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

Are there any specifics you are talking about.

I don't know what your asking me here.

One that I can think of is her calling me and accusing me of stuff

.

All I can say is be very careful what you talk to others about in the presents of your kids. Kids pick up more than we think they do.

What are the things she's accusing you of?
Where is she getting her info from?

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I will push back because I am hesitant to get back into this. I would say something to the effect of I am not sure as to which way I want to go with this. There is 2 sides of this for me. I will need some time to think about this and what I want to do.

Just make sure your not bluffing.
Women can sense if we're not sincere with what we say.

You know, no matter what happens, you will be just fine.
6 out of 10 people you meet who are/were M are living around us.

D seems to be the norm now. I know I will be fine. It fact I'm going to be better than fine.

[downandoutintn]

I don't know what your asking me here.

Since you posted that link, I didn't know if there was anything in particular you were pointing for the boundaries or if it was something more in general you thought I needed to see.


Also you seem very optimistic that this is headed in the right direction. Is there something that I am not seeing? I might need another 2x4 to the head.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

down

I was just posting some very useful information I was able to obtain during my time here.

Also you seem very optimistic that this is headed in the right direction. Is there something that I am not seeing? I might need another 2x4 to the head.

As my W sat across from me last May while we were discussing the division of our assets she told me I was overly optomistic that we would get back together.
This was after I ask her do you want a D?
She did come back, although we failed at reconciling, I had the faith she would.

That's who I am, I have always been optomistic. I have friends who envy that about me.

I am currently working on D but I do believe she will come back again or at least hve regrets down the road.

I know better know, She has not change in a year and a half.

I don't want her back. I will not allow her to be in my life unless she gets the proper help she needs.
That's my boundary, Its for me.
I don't do crazy anymore. All her craziness ends with her because I don't allow it to affect me.

Bottom line is your W may/may not come back. IN a perfect scenario the two of you would work out your differences.

However it does take the work of two poeple who want to be in a R together to make it work.

Don't focus on her actions or words. it doesn't matter to you now.
you have a great life ahead you regardless if the women wants to be with you.

Dbing is about saving yourself. Learning about yourself and grow as an individual.

Have you ever watch the the Survivor?
It's like that.
Sometimes things don't appear as they are.
And the only constant element is change.

gr8

[downandoutintn]

Not much to update today.

Last night she did surprise me by having S5 at one of her co workers house that I had to work on their computer. Once I left I had to take S5 to her house. I came in to see S2 for a few minutes. Well she was eating and the kids needed a bath. So I went ahead and gave them their baths while she ate to help out and spend some more time with the kids. While I was there she kept on talking small talk with me. I actively listened to what she was saying while I continued to help the kids. At the end she seemed to get mad for really no reason. I don't know if she was mad at me because I was helping out and that reminded her of us living together. I finished giving the kids their bath got them dressed. Then I gave them hugs and told them I loved them and good night. I told her to have a good night and left.

So my question is how should I handle this type of conversation? I think it went pretty well. I didn't talk about myself at all and just acknowledged what she was saying and answered where I had to. I made sure I made eye contact with her as she was talking. One thing I noticed is that she is still very comfortable around me. I won't go into details but there is somethings that she still does around me that she wouldn't around other people. Nothing sexual towards me but I know she would not do this normally around just anyone.

[gr8 day 2B alive]

I'm not sure I understand your living arrangement.

You went over her place to give the kids baths?
If she moved out, why is she at the house?

I'm confused, please help me out here.
Thanks

[downandoutintn]

She is living with her Mom. I had to take S5 to her at her house. I took him in and spent a few minutes with S2 since he wasn't with S5. She was eating and it was late and they needed a bath so I gave them their baths while she was eating and left after the baths. I did this so I could spend more time with them. I pretty much avoided her.

[downandoutintn]

This place is the Bible for relationships. When I have an issue or feeling I am going through. There is an example or another person that is going through the same thing usually on the front page. You open it up and there is your answer!