26yrs is this the end

[JustStunned]

Kevc, How much do you actually know about the degree of involvement with this OM? It is very natural that this should concern you, but this post reads like you were reacting and the reaction escalated.

Reacting very rarely produces a positive outcome. This is one of the reasons detachment has become so important to me.

Didn't your W cited controlling as one of the reasons she left for the women’s shelter? Is it possible the exchange was perceived by her as trying to control her? I am not saying your reaction was unjustified. I am saying there can be more constructive ways to set a boundary.

IMO this is what you were attempting to do. I don’t think it was perceived that way.

IMO, being calm, centering yourself, repeating your short term goals and detachment are all things to work on.

Truegritter recently posted some words he picked up on this board. You may wish to adapt to your sitch:

W, I've told you before that I still love you and still think that we can have a great life together as both a couple and a family. I've not changed my mind on that. But I understand you are not happy, that you do not feel happy or complete inside.

You need to do what will make you happy. By my side, we live as partners, we share everything and we would do anything to help one another. But that's only if we continue as a team.

I won't stand in your way. But I also will not help you leave this marriage or this family. And I will never accept another person being a part of our life together.

I hope you find the happiness you are looking for. Go do what you need to do. You know where I will be.