Antonia makes a very good point about who is carrying the weight of the relationship. Being the major breadwinner does not mean that your responsibility stops at the door. Sadly, many men think that it does.
When my H and I first separated back in 2002, I refused to file, refused to give up, spoke to him gently and calmly. Basically all the things they say in DB'ng, but before I knew of them.
At one point after our reconciliation, my H once said to me, " You are so strong. You are terrifying." I took it as a compliment, being as he is 6'1 and 210 lbs. at the time, and military to boot. He said it in the context of my holding out for the marriage.
Now, looking back, I feel more like I treated him as a child having a temper tantrum. I waited almost a full year for the tantrum to stop without action on my part. I patiently waited, patiently spoke, never berated, never begged.
Long story short, things held together for 8 more years. I held them together. It wasn't fair to me or him.
Yes, Irish, It takes two to make a marriage, but it can be held together by one regrettably. Also, everyone has blame in a divorce, but sometimes, we did what we did as a sacrifice to holding things together. Forgive yourself. You did what you did because you had to. ((HUGS))
