One foot in front of the other girlfriend, that's your mission now.
Angel - sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is to do nothing.
We women, particularly intelligent, passionate, organised, dynamic women, have this inbuilt desire to always be "doing". Planning, executing, evaluating, reviewing, implementing.... we do it in our professional lives, we do it in our home lives, we do it in our relationships. It’s not always helpful or healthy.
Just stop. Stop thinking, stop planning how you might be able to take action a to get outcome b. Stop worrying about what tomorrow is going to bring. You’ve only got today. Tomorrow may never come. Today, you have a gorgeous daughter, a home you love, a job that’s rewarding, friends and family – can’t that be enough for today? It’s a lot more than a lot of people have.
I work in developing countries with mining companies. My job is to work with the community to identify the social determinants for development and capacity building. I’m in a failed state in the Pacific today and I spent the day with a group of women who are the powerhouse for change in their very impoverished region. Amazing women.
In this place there are about 50,000 people living around a world class mine, but they have no access to clean water or sanitation. There is no customary land left, the mine has taken it all, so there is little room left for gardens and food security is a huge issue. The men here have taken polygamy to a new level and thousands of women are left by their husbands to take care of their children (very little access to contraception so women have a lot of children) while their husband indulges in wife number 4 or 5 (or 32 in one case) … and yet these women just keep going. Some of them are absolutely heartbroken – because the shame of being left by their husband often means they are pariahs in their own families and are disowned – they are often homeless – but they keep going and they form water-committees and participate in micro-finance schemes to buy chickens and sewing machines to make a bit of money so their children can go to school … and they continue to contribute to their community by helping other women and looking after other women’s children while they go to work.
We are super indulged we middle-class women from the developed world. Why don’t you make one of your get-a-life activities volunteer work at a homeless shelter or a place for abused women? There are a lot of ways you can turn your suffering into something positive – something worthwhile that contributes to the world around you – and sets an example for your daughter, that no matter how bad things are, they could always be worse. I know it feels like the end of the world. In some ways it is the end of the world as you know it. You will never be the same again …. But you know what? That’s a good thing. We are refined in this fire.
Blessings, V
V
Never make someone a priority, who makes you an option.
