Well, I made it thru day 2 of my 30 day wait to see what my ex-H will come up with next. Had my first telephone coaching session and it was really good to get it all out. Wish I had done that a while ago, just for that support.
Time is a funny thing. So much and yet so little.
Today was a pretty good day. Its the first day since I found out about the OW and possible pregnancy - that I was able to focus on other things. Finished work early and came home, had a small teary session, then went to have lunch with a friend, went to study with same friend, and then went for a 1hr walk while chatting with my sister. It was great!
Weirdly, today I don't have much to say about my situation. This is weird cuz for days, I've been just brimming with thoughts and tears and emotions.
But, on the other hand, I have a plan, I'm not totally happy with it, but I know my reality is bad currently. And I will have to first find out if this OW is pregnant. If so, my limbo ends. Its awful, but I think there is freedom in that plan.
I am praying to God that she is NOT pregnant, but if she is, I know that I have no place in that mess. Sigh.....never thought my life would end up this way. Feel stupid and naive.
Deep Breath and just move on....
I was thinking of this question of "what are my hobbies?" I don't really have any.
The only thing I could think of was to go hot air balloon riding. Seems like a crazy thing to do. And....where to start for something like that??
I need to make lists again. I bought a calendar (which is of 1001 Places to see before you die) - I like to travel
I just discovered that right now...
But....travel......alone? sigh
Anyways, I am focusing on this next 28 days and I will re-asses after that. Limbo is something I have been doing it for so long - it has become a way of life for me. Its painful - more so right now - as there is a whole new component suddenly. So one step at a time.
3 things to accomplish for tomorrow
1. Get in a workout
2. Prepare tax paperwork and make an appointment
3. Make my bed!
I guess I had a lot to say after all....:)
M 5yrs D 9/2009 Ex-H moved back in - 5/2010 Ex-H left again 1/2011 exH remarried - first week Feb 2011 I found out - 2/22/2011
