Let me explain a little. H lives with his parents 45 minutes away. The kids have been falling behind with their school work... they're with my mom until I get home at 6, then I make dinner and get things around for the next day... by the time I'm done with that it's about 8. I ask if they've gotten their homework done and they say yes, but inevitably they're missing something. H decides that it's because he's not around enough and thinks it would be a good idea if he picked the kids up from school and helped with their homework. He does this at my house. So, when I get home he's here. He's only been doing this for the past week and a half so it's pretty new. Usually he's texting and doesn't look up from his phone until he leaves. He doesn't really talk to me in the few minutes we're in the same space... just says goodbye and leaves. The first time it killed me to come home and have him here only to be treated like I wasn't even in the room. So, I told myself that he's not here for me, he's here for the kids and decided to just focus on them when I walked through the door and to act as if it was just a normal night of me getting home. The first time I did this he didn't react, which was last Thursday. He didn't come Friday and then next time I saw him was the dance. Today was the first day this week that he's been here. I walked in and said hi to our D and asked her about her day. H starts a conversation about her missing work and we discuss that for a little bit. He then starts talking to me about child support. He lost the first job he's had in almost 4 years a couple of months ago. He only had the job for a little bit, but managed to buy a new (used) mini cooper because of it. He has asked me to put a hold on the support until he finds another job because he can't afford his car and other bills (I have no clue what they are since he lives with his parents). I called to see if they could stop it and they said not unless he paid off what he owed, which he can't do. So, today he's telling me that he's missed 3 car payments and they'll be taking his car if he can't pay by Friday. Well, because I'm a helper and have some need to make sure he's ok I offered to loan him the money for his car payment. Loan is a loose word since he has no real income just unemployment... I told myself it was because I don't want him to lose his car since without it he'd have no way to leave his parents' house. He starts barber school (don't laugh) on the 14th and that wouldn't be possible without a car either. He just looked at me and said, really, you'd do that for me? I said, of course who else do you have? He was like, nobody really. Ugh, I don't know if that was even a good move or if I just said hey you can use me for money when you're down. When he left he thanked me and used his nickname for me...
I don't know what to think about it. It feels so good to just hear him use that name... I feel like I'm grasping at straws...
There are times like this afternoon when H talks to me like he used to and we laugh and he gets that playful look in his eye... it makes the times he's indifferent so much harder.
Any suggestions? Does this mean anything at all?
Me 34 H 37 M 12/97 H moved out 03/09 D 05/10 S 17 D 12 S 11
