my h and son gave me necklace

[MrBond]

Are you still going to the C? You never answered the last time I asked. I think you need the support right now for these low times you find yourself in.

[rysmom]

Yes, im still going to IC every other week, because my ins. doesn't cover it and it's expensive. She's away this week though.

[rysmom]

I am really sad today. I think my h went to fl. with ow. This really breaks my heart.

[MrBond]

What has your C recommended you do? STOP thinking about them. Go out and start living your life. STOP letting his actions rule yours.

[sgctxok]

Hi rys,

I'm sorry to hear that. Laurie (I think she's your coach, right) has some great thought-stopping techniques.

Are you in a position to take a vacation?

[rysmom]

i dont know if i'd want to be away from home, because of bad panic attacks and depression.
My h had his mail forwarded to his MIL last week and blocked my access to his checking acct balance. I am really worried that they are planning for their future. I don't want to lose out financially my h is very sneaky about $. Do you think i should file to protect myself? He's still looking at bentley car 90,000, he's crazy. Not one dime saved, and no college money for son either.

[MrBond]

What has your C recommended you do for yourself?

You've got to take care of yourself first and foremost. The panic attacks and depression are not only dragging yourself down, but your son as well.

Get professional help for the times you need it the most.

If you feel that you are going to lose out financially, then file to protect yourself.

When you say things like your H is "very sneaky" you're letting your emotions overshadow your judgment. Your posts are still all about your H. What about you? What about your life? What positives do you see about YOU. Not your M, but YOU.

[rysmom]

I cannot enjoy my life because i constantly worry about my financial future, and Im not able to work because of a disability.

[MrBond]

Let me tell you something. True story.

I was in Thailand a few years ago on a trip. While there, I saw a man with no arms and no legs. He had a cart that he was pulling along the sidewalk with his teeth. In the cart he had baskets that he was selling. He would move by rocking his body back and forth to move forward. This was out in 100 degree weather. Yet the whole time he was smiling.

I asked our guide to ask the man why he was smiling. The man said this..."I'm alive. God has granted me a sunny day to sell my baskets and I have a place to sleep and food to eat. Who could ask for anything more?"

There's a man who has NOTHING, yet he counts the blessings he has.

You're worried about your financial future? Then do something about it. So what if you can't work? You can type can't you? You do so on these boards. Find a way to use the tools that you DO have. NOT the ones that you don't.

You play tennis, have a wonderful son, are living, breathing. Do you think the child in the cancer ward would think that you can't enjoy life? Or the abused mother who has to take care of her 3 kids against an alcoholic H?

Count your blessings and grow from that. Stop this "oh woe is me" attitude.

I tell you what. If you can go into a hospital ward and tell a child with a terminal illness that you have it worse off than them, then I will believe you.

[rysmom]

Today is MIL operation. I am thinking maybe i should call my h and ask him how it went. We have not spoken in 4 mos. I think that's why things have gotten worse for m.
I am so sad. My whole family has abandoned me because of my h. We had the best family out of all of me and my siblings. There was so much hope for my son's future. My h was the best thing that ever happened to me and i lost him.

I don't want to get up today.