Need Insight V

[angel61]

Thats exactly what I told H: that we will never really be out of each others life because we have a child together. And think about how he kids will feel ifduring special times in their life - weddings, grandchildren being born, etc. their parents cannot be there together without tension.

I told my H in one of our last R talks that at first, I felt that I did not want to be friends with him ever, or even see him again once we go our separate ways. But thinking forward, to when our D goes through all those special moments in her life, I still want to be able to see him, meet his eyes over our D's head and congratulate ourselves on having brought a wonderful person into the world. Play together with our grandchildren, even if not as H and W, but at least as friends, without the bitterness.

About your observation regarding how your wife looks:

I noted that lately with H as well. At first he was looking really good - slimmed down, looked 10 years younger, was grooming and preening. Suddenly, he aged and looks haggard and tired. But I think its the same with me. The problems and stress really takes their toll.