ugh... help me respond to this please

[what next?]

I don't understand how you say that we don't show the WAW anything when the whole point is to let actions speak rather than words.

The ring is not mine. I can't ask for it back. It is hers to do with as she pleases (as per the divorce decree) so I think that mentioning the ring is just taking the bait from her... I'm not going to take the bait, I'm going to stay in control and let her fight with herself over the ring instead of with me.

[MrBond]

"when my wife said she was going to file i told her to just give me her ring that i didn't care about anything else"

This is what you mentioned earlier. So do you want the ring back or not?

If it is hers, then she's mentioning because either:
a) she wants to see what your reaction is to see if you're still interested in the M. It's like when they say that you don't have to get them anything for Valentine's Day, but they really do.
b) She's just making small talk.

In any case, if it is her ring, then tell her "well it's your ring, so you are free to do with it as you wish".

Stop further contact with her until at least a day or so. Mention something about how you were out and didn't get the message till later. Things like that.

[what next?]

Its definitely a IMO... that's why I jet didnt acknowlege it. Thei rng is hers to do whatever she wants... she was trying to get to me for sure but I didn't respond.

I should have waited to get back with her but I have repliedi already...

[MrBond]

From now on stop replying to her so quickly. Wait awhile. Keep it strictly business.

[what next?]

i have been waiting quite a while... at least a day but this was a real quick reply to something that she said (and was all technical stuff about insurance and titles and stuff) but i think it's interesting that she hasn't replied to that. it's nice to see her have a reaction when i do something different... like i respond right away and she backs off. noted!

[MrBond]

The only reason why she doesn't respond to you after you give her what she asked for is because she got what she wanted out of you. Once she doesn't need you, she doesn't contact you again unless it's to ask you for something else again.

Break that cycle.

[what next?]

Break the cycle by not answering her questions? Im not sure how being obtuse is going to make her want to contact me.

[2stepboogie]

Don't respond right away.

yeah next I think I said that about a week ago!!!!

2x4 issued.

[MrBond]

"Break the cycle by not answering her questions? Im not sure how being obtuse is going to make her want to contact me."

Is there any reason why you keep asking people for advice, yet when they give it, you don't listen?

Pay attention:

1) Nobody said to not contact her AT ALL. We all have said to wait awhile before answering. As if you had more important things to do instead of jumping through her hoops. And before you argue against that, she is making you dance to her tune. You've had no say in your M sitch and she's controlled the whole sitch.

2) You keep having this issue about wanting her to contact you. You sat around and did nothing to initiate (your version of going dark) and you got hit with D papers. You may think she's being much friendlier so that gives you a chance. NOT SO. She's being friendly because she feels that soon she doesn't have to deal with you anymore. It's relief. So far going through your posts, that seems to be her thinking.

So stop contacting her when she asks for something. Give it a month and then call her out of the blue. Or if she calls, wait a day and then call her back and say something like "sorry I missed your message" I was out. If you get her VM, leave that message, then turn off your phone. That will help stop the temptation of thinking of her.

3) Start taking control of your life and start doing things that YOU want to do. That will help YOU. Not just finding a new job, but something else that can enrich YOUR life.

[Truegritter]

^^^^^^