I don't think going to the party or not going has anything to do with S to be honest with you. At least that is not the reason she is inviting you to go. My ex and I tried this at first when my D was only 1 but I quickly stopped. She had my D for awhile and I had my D for awhile. As far as Bday party, my D had two. She loved it. As long as son is taken care off that is what really matters.
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She tells me that our M is over and that she is in love with OM and that she feels close to him but also in quiet moments misses our family and is really all over the map.
Doesn't sound like to me she is in love with anybody, she is in love with an idea.
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she doesnt even want to think about Divorce
Why not? If she is so in 'love' the she should be happy.
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She tells me she wants to see me happy and that I should move on with another girl.
Some of the ladies can correct me if I am wrong here but this sounds like a justification for herself. If she wants to see you happy and show her that you are. You don't need another woman right now to be happy because you control your own happiness.
In short if you don't want to go to the party, then don't. It has nothing to do with S spend the time you can with him and make sure he has a blast.
