Imagine instead you had a BIG TALK after George Lopez. You cornered, told him you had to know how he felt, what he wanted, blah blah blah. Suppose even that he had in response said the same thing: "I love you. Don't forget that. Ever."
How would you have felt???? Would EITHER have you known whether it was an authentic statement? He probably wouldn't have. And I'm pretty darn sure you wouldn't have. I can hear it now, "Oh, he just said that to get me to shut up/to make sure he kept his free rent/to avoid a confrontation while he plots leaving...." Blah blah blah.
Giving him SPACE to figure out what he wants and to show you both is YOUR CHOICE. You don't get to control what happens. It is risky, but it is the only way to give YOURSELF a chance to enjoy possible benefits that can't be had any other way. This means also, of course, accepting the possible costs.
Giving Gabe space is NOT about eggshell walking, suffering silently out of fear you can't do better, blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
It is about YOUR power and strength to choose what possibilities you want to allow in your life. You have GOT to own that choice to be in a position of strength and love toward yourself.
When you want more from Gabe then you have, you have to reflect: are the potential benefits worth the potential costs. YOU CHOOSE and own that choice. Sometime, the answer might be "no." But even then, the answer is to set your boundary. Report about you. Not grill/corner.
So please please please, next time you find yourself strolling toward your comfortable long-suffering, can't hope for more, not good enough to deserve more, I'll take make stale crumbs and mope victim rut, reject it.
Your choices for your own reasons to make a good life for you. Period. That's it. You are not a victim here. You are the creator of possibilities in your life. Choose them well and own those choices with power and love toward yourself.
