Think of it this way: if you D, you will still have to interact with ex for birthday parties, graduations, grandchildren, etc. The two of you will always be their parents. Other than abandonment, you two will always be in each other's lives.

This Bday party is for your S, not you or your W. IMHO, you should be there for him.

Me 43 W 38
M 5 T 7
SD20
S15, S13 with 1st W
ILYBNILWY June 2010
Separation/Bomb July 2010
Divorce Feb 8, 2011