Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

Thanks for the response, intellectually I know this is true, and I am coming to grips that she may need to complete her journey before rethinking her decision. Long range planning and delayed gratification never were her strong suits.

The cycles of anger and resentment I feel are lessoning in intensity. I guess I am moving slowly to acceptance. I know I will cycle back several more times and I pray I don’t melt down.

It is aggravating that before her are examples of where she will crash and burn, one SIL and several cousins, but she is certain that it won’t happen to her. We used to talk about their sitchs and promised each other we wouldn’t let US arrive at that point. We chose each other and we chose to make the relationship work.

She has now chosen not to, and is attempting to gain as much as possible despite the havoc created among other loved ones. The pain caused because she doesn’t see or seeing, doesn’t care is the hurdle we are all trying to get past. That I can only deal with my pain and cannot shelter others is frustrating. I have always been the rock others anchor to. It was one of the things she was attracted to and family relied upon. This role gave me solace and only in private moments would I share my pain with her. Now I share my pain with this board, my sister and one cousin.

From the point of view of this sitch I am just marking time waiting for the fog to clear. Detachment is increasing and patience I have so I will mark time.

I am filling my days with work, and other activities some GAL and some daily maintenance like playing with the dog. I am acting as if I have moved on. Sometimes I think I have and other times like last night it is a bigger facade than I can easily maintain.