We talked for a long time about all sorts of things in our current situation. The point I mentioned last night was just the one that stuck to me the most.
She says that she is moving on Saturday and been told that this will be a time for her to self discover. She then brings up the OW and how that is a huge emotional void right now with the no contact. She said that she felt like she left OW out high and dry when she called concerning the no contact.
The woman on this site would bash me for trying to interpret my W's thoughts and words, but I think she feels almost like there would be no self discovery with the OW. She tells me that she does not know what self discovery means. I told her that talking to her own therapist will help guide you through this process. We also have our couples therapist.
She said what am I supposed to do? I will have an apartment to myself, all of these crazy thoughts, and no idea how to proceed. I told her that self discovery is about taking the time without outside pressure to learn about yourself and try to put things together that work best for you. She still says that she just doesn't know how this will work. She then kept telling me that she could give me no promises (which was disheartening but real).
Right now, I think she feels like this great emotional and physical bond with OW was just stopped cold turkey, because her husband said so. She has used the word "put on a shelf". I just hope that she can continue to work on her self living on her own and continue the communication with me. I am in it for the long haul and have told my W that. I just told her that we need to continue to be open and honest with each other through this process.
I will continue what I am doing and know that I will never be able to make this decision for my W. It is a tough spot for both of us to be in right now.
Me - 33 W - 33 S - 9 months M - 3 years T - 5.5 years Bomb - 12/14/10 ILYBNILWY PA discovered - 1/18/11 PA began - 3/22/10 Separated
