As CW says, many people make it through their MLC without having an affair. It also depends how far along they are--my H didn't start his Emotional Affair until 2 years in to his own MLC. One thing they do all share is depression--has your H become depressed? The confusion you mention is often a sign of MLC as well.
As for the GALing, do you know another mom with whom you could have regular babysitting trades? Your children would probably welcome the regular "playdates," and it would free up some time for you to find a GAL activity.
