Haven't posted in a few weeks as I have been incredibly busy. Nothing has really changed except that my three kids (S25, D23, S21)now know. I told the youngest two face to face. It was exactly like I feared - they were crushed and devastated. They are now at the point where they won't talk to their mom. They are both angry because she acts like nothing is wrong at all, and we are still one big happy family - yet she is leaving. They can't figure it out (join the crowd). I should point out that I have mentioned nothing about the OM, or anything bad about her other than she wants to leave. She called the oldest one who lives out of state and told him over the phone right before he was leaving for work. He called my daughter freaking out, and she called me, so then I called him and got a hold of him driving to work. He was a mess. I have no idea why she would do that. I was in the process of getting tickets to fly down and tell him face to face. She just said, well, I thought he knew. She KNEW he didn't. I think since the other two weren't talking to her, she thought if she was the one to tell him, that he would be on her side. She seems perplexed as to why the kids would be mad at her.
Speaking of OM, she claims they are still just friends and that they will date as soon as the divorce is final - IF he is available. Claims she doesn't know if he currently is or not. Right. Then later in the conversation she admits that she has been to his house but just once, kissed him but just once, and then admitted that she has told him that she loves him. She then proceeded to tell me they are good friends because he is such a "good" man and is very upstanding. So I asked her - do you consider a man that would mess around with a married woman with a family upstanding? She tried to argue that he was, but seemed to be confused at that point. I said it would be obvious to anybody that they are more than friends, and then she fell back into the no, we are just friends camp and stayed there.
So now she is looking for apartments, and I found an email between her and her lawyer where she is trying to speed things up, divorce wise. This was just a couple of days ago, and she had told me about a week ago that she had fired her lawyer. It appears not!
Due to an unexpected change at work, I now am working night shift. I leave before she gets home, get home really late when she is sleeping, and she is gone before I wake up. All along she has either still kept in contact by phone and text message, but since I went to nights this has stopped. She has sent me one message - remember to order propane. That's been it. So, looks like I'm already dark! I don't see her at all, and all forms of conversation seem to have stopped. The only contact we have is the three overlapping hours that we are in bed together. Yes, she still sleeps in our bed with me.
I've talked to a pastor friend of mine and he is giving me a couple of names of "pros" who I can talk to. I am going to start asap. If nothing changes, looks like D-day is April 28. I know that me and the kids will survive, although some days I'm not sure how, I'll admit. They have become withdrawn and bitter. I am working real hard at maintaining open lines of communication with them for when they are ready to talk. I talk to each of them every day. I know the W doesn't.
Well, I will end there for now - I am starting to ramble! I'll post more in a day or two.
