Newbie post What to do now

[JustStunned]

So give me a moment to vent. I am so angry and resentful I could spit in W face.

I know this will pass. Even now it is leaving. I was returning from leagues tonight. It is about a 20 minute drive and you know how ones mind can wander on familiar roads. I shot just below my average. It is not the fault of this sitch. My form fell apart on the last 10 arrows. I even had target panic once and shot a flier. I felt bad letting my partner down as he was shooting below his average also and needed me to pick up the points. So after diagnosising why I failed to improve my average I began to think about this sitch.

I became increasing resentful over how selfish W is now. I know this is a manifestation of her state of mind, but this rationalization is not helping now. It is terrible to say, but honestly a part of me wishes she is hurting as much as I am.

I have prayed for calmness and strength to let this negative go. I picked up the djembe and banged out a few rhythms. I am very very very rusty. It was terrible. I will fix myself a drink and lurk here for a bit. I hope to gain strength from you all. I am not a regular drinker, but I am going to have one, maybe two to relax.