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[Denver_2010]

I know grr... just frustrating as hel!

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Denver

[MrBond]

Is there any reason why you haven't flat out asked her where she lives? I mean she has your SS so as a parent you have a right to know.

[Denver_2010]

I have a really, really good idea. That's number 1.

But mainly, I'm respecting her wishes... I have been since the day that she left... and I credit that for much of the progress that I've made.

I believe that I am very close here... I don't want to f it up by being impatient now. Not sure if you are caught up with my thread Bond... but W has been spending a lot of time with me and has told me that she is leaning towards working on M... that I am only in competition with my old self...

I am actually going on a trip with her in a couple of days. OM's days are numbered... and as it is, nothing is going on with them...

My W's main reason for hiding her address from me is that she is afraid that I will actually hurt this guy... I made an unfortunate mistake very early on in threatening him (to her) ... and it scared her.

I'm just being patient man... it [censored], and I have certainly had to swallow a lot of pride... but what I've been doing has been working...

focusing on the big picture

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Denver

[FellOnBlackDays]

Denver, you really are making all the right moves, my man. The trip to the mall was excellent. And, you pulled it off while the OM was babysitting. Dude, we are going to get you a giant, shiny brass championship belt to wear around soon.

OK, patience now as grr is right. She is really giving you all you can have right now. Don't sweat the address and don't sweat what you are not yet getting. You and I started here and I remember when you would have stepped over a dead body to have what you have now. And, don't forget, I am still standing that the starting line waiting for the permission to move forward... Besides, if you really wanted the address, I am sure your SS would give you that info. But, don't ask for it. Nothing good will come from that. If she were to catch you spying, it would destroy months of work.

I can't believe she is talking about a future together!!!! Awesome!

Keep the good news coming!

FOBD

[Denver_2010]

Denver, you really are making all the right moves, my man. The trip to the mall was excellent. And, you pulled it off while the OM was babysitting. Dude, we are going to get you a giant, shiny brass championship belt to wear around soon.

OK, patience now as grr is right. She is really giving you all you can have right now. Don't sweat the address and don't sweat what you are not yet getting. You and I started here and I remember when you would have stepped over a dead body to have what you have now. And, don't forget, I am still standing that the starting line waiting for the permission to move forward... Besides, if you really wanted the address, I am sure your SS would give you that info. But, don't ask for it. Nothing good will come from that. If she were to catch you spying, it would destroy months of work.

I can't believe she is talking about a future together!!!! Awesome!

Keep the good news coming!

FOBD

Actually, SS has given me the address... think it was back in middle of December... but I haven't snooped. My issue is that despite all of the progress that I've made... W is still keeping it hidden from me... I know it's bc she's concerned about what I will do IF things don't work out the way that they are headed right now (reconciliation)...

And yes... any prodding or spying is not good for me now... not at all... I don't really feel that I need to anyway.

I like that championship belt idea!!! I'd wear it all of the time!!

[♪CS♪]

Denver, how does it feel to be the envy of the boards?

Great job man, keep it up, you are inspiring a lot of people, myself included, right now!

[MrBond]

Yes I have been following your sitch which is why I thought it was odd that she is talking about maybe getting back, yet doesn't tell you where she's living.

IMO it's not the OM she's worried about. It's her. She doesn't "trust" you so she has her runaway hideout safely hidden in case she decides not to confront the things she's done.

It's one thing if it were just the two of you, however since there is a child involved, you have a right to find out if the place she decides to put him in is safe. I'm not saying that you don't trust her to give you SS a safe environment to live in. I'm just saying that as the other parent, you need to find out for yourself.

Plus many WAS's are so caught up in the "fog", that they don't make rationale choices. Or convince themeselves of things that aren't true.

[♪CS♪]

Bond, your point is valid, and definitely correct that it is the other parents "right" to know where your child is living, but just because it is a right, does not necessarily mean it has to be an issue to push.

In my sitch, I just haven't asked, although I have asked many questions on what it is like to make sure it is safe, I have not requested the address. I am very comfortable in knowing that my D is in a safe environment there. If I need the address at some point I will get it, but I do not feel it is an issue I need to push right now.

[Denver_2010]

Denver, how does it feel to be the envy of the boards?

Great job man, keep it up, you are inspiring a lot of people, myself included, right now!

Thanks Country. I know that I am blessed to be having some success recently. It feels really good. I do know, however, that I owe this board and everyone here a lot! The support that I have received has just been amazing.

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Denver

[Denver_2010]

Yes I have been following your sitch which is why I thought it was odd that she is talking about maybe getting back, yet doesn't tell you where she's living.

IMO it's not the OM she's worried about. It's her. She doesn't "trust" you so she has her runaway hideout safely hidden in case she decides not to confront the things she's done.

You may be right. I still think that it is bc she is worried that IF thing don't work out where we work on M that I will 'spy' on her or try to confront OM if he ends up remaining in her life. I made the mistake of threatening him to her back in November and it scared her. But the bottom line is that she isn't ready to share that with me for whatever reason. Either way, I am willing to suck it up and be patient for now though.

It's one thing if it were just the two of you, however since there is a child involved, you have a right to find out if the place she decides to put him in is safe. I'm not saying that you don't trust her to give you SS a safe environment to live in. I'm just saying that as the other parent, you need to find out for yourself.

Plus many WAS's are so caught up in the "fog", that they don't make rationale choices. Or convince themeselves of things that aren't true.

I think that your point is good Bond... But I don't have any real concerns about SS being in a safe place. I actually have a very good idea of where they live. My SS gave me the address back in December... I just haven't used it or let my W know that I know. It is in a very nice neighborhood about 5 minutes from my house.