Hmmmm, finally found it and read through it. For once, there are a lot of things in the list (or at least parts of #1, part of #2, #3). Maybe I'm just a little different? IDK.

Anyways, as for #9 I don't think you can have the "direct, sincere, emotional, etc" conversation until you've successfully detached. I don't see how you don't respond to the "zingers" if you still feel as attached today as you did on the day you were bombed?!

I mean I'm sure you could fake it, but that doesn't seem to jive with the 12 steps to getting through to your man as a whole.

Guys are generally more direct, less emotional, but considerably more confrontational. So I guess having the concersation on his terms is probably to your advantage.

Is it possible that your H won't say intentially mean and hurtful things at this point? I mean other than the honest things they say that still hurt like hell...

I'm sorry your struggling LIS.

I'm looking forward to Saturday night when my W comes home, in hopes that some time to reflect will cause her to second guess her "fantasy", but I'm also at a point where I'm not expecting much.

Me - 34
W - 33
M - 8 years
T - 15 years
D7, D5, D2
Bomb Nov 10/2010 "I'm not happy and INILWY"
W Staying for the kids Mar 13/2011