Sounds like you are doing well Islander... Buy your M as much time as you can. I think that you staying dark is good for now. I know that it feels hopeless right now... but things can change in a hurry man. They can.

BITS
Denver

M 43
X 38
T 13
W moves out of home 11/2010
Roller coaster from hell 2/2011-5/2012
I request divorce 5/2012
W moves home 6/2012
Good time 7/2012 - 1/2015
I leave 3/2016
process of divorce