Maybe I should just get things over with -Confused

[barbsing1]

"I don't want the marriage I had, and I don't want a man who breaks his vows and promises and has been dishonest and vague with me, a man that neglected me, and expected me to be responsible for almost everything by default, a man that ran away and blamed me for everything.

Sigh. I can really relate to this. I haven't been at this nearly as long as you, but I am exhausted"

I think my H is in MLC, but not sure. A lot of what he says sounds like MLC "script"

H just told me yesterday that he does not love me, has no hope for our future, thought about reconciliation but has decided against it because he can't see any "sweetness" in me (it's hard to always be sweet knowing H is having an affair with his ex-wife) and when asked why he does not file, responded that he would consider it if he could afford an atty.

Anyway - sorry for hijacking your post.

I also struggle with knowing whether to stand or cut my losses. I also long for male companionship. I also do not want our old marriage back. Sometimes I think it would be best to just rip the bandaid off. But there are other days where I am reminded of other posters who tell us all to be patient and to stay the course because this is long and hard work.

Hang in there. Be good to yourself. Know you are amazing and never fall for the "it was all your fault" routine - one that apparently you and are are both used to believing.

By the way, what does BITS stand for?