okay feeling a little better now. went for a long walk. cleared my head a bit.
I think what's still messing with me most is my lack of steady income.
When it comes right down to it, I know I'm not even making enough money to take care of myself right now, and even though my WAW doesn't really know just how bad it is for me right now, she has seen enough of it messing with my confidence and stability over the past few years...
...but far more importantly I have seen it in me even longer and I still see it there today.
And it's not even like I want or need to make the kind of money that I've made before. Just like I don't really need the kind of studly body I had over 20 years ago.
I'm okay with that old money and body being gone, because for the most, I really love the person I have become.
Honestly I believe I could live well and happily on much less money than I've been stretching and stressing and striving for all these years.
All I really need is an extraordinary quality of life, and I know setting that up isn't really going to be all the hard.
I just need to take some of the focus, patience, discipline and self-control that I've been exercising here trying to win back my WAW, and truly engage and apply myself to making my own lifestyle dreams come true.
I need a better focal point now than winning back my wife.
Now I need to focus on reclaiming my quality of life.
So it's only a few weeks, and at this point I'm really not sure how I'm going to make it happen, but I have now set my intention to fly to Costa Rica on March 21st and see if it's a place I'd like to live for awhile.
I think I'm going to start using this thread to keep my mind on getting a surfboard and guitar, instead of worrying about who is chatting up my wife.
This is me being natural. This is me following my heart. This is me being true to myself. This is me DBing for me.
I am being the possibility of:
1) Integrity 2) Loving myself completely. 3) Things flowing naturally between us, without any fear or attachment to the outcome.
