Rolling with the punches

[Redo]

If that just sounds too painful, you are probably too tied up in her emotionally, and that is one of the reasons you have found yourself in this position. Society propagates all kinds of myths about the role of a man in a healthy R, and as nice guys, we buy into them. We make our W our everything, and lose sight of the fact that in order to have a healthy R, what we need more than anything else is a strong sense of self.

Without that strong sense of self, our W lose respect for us, and with it goes attraction (or in "we need to talk" terms ILYBINILWY).

I know it is a hard road you are on, and I truly feel for you. Work on detaching, being happy with yourself, and developing a strong sense of self.

Decide that your happiness depends on nobody else but you (so true, but possibily the most difficult thing to actually live, I have yet to master it).
SF

Thanks man. Yea, somehow i weaved my life around my W for these 11 years. I actually got to the point where i ditched some of my friends because W could not get along with their wives. I think nowadays i am feeling little more positive about myself than i did last month. But i know i have a loong way to go. New trouble is that my parents are here. My mom is a very negative person. So I am having to deal with my issues and deal with her talking bad stuff about W and her family. I feel bad, but i am waiting for them to go