LBS needing advice...

[Augtan]

Irish, I totally understand the OW stuff, I had this vision of how the OW was so much better than me, my friend who worked with XH and OW at the time I discovered the affair told me "if you saw OW you wouldn't think that anymore, you need to see her and you will feel sooo much better" See, I made XH tell me every detail about the A, which was a huge mistake, and he said to me "OW has a perfect body, model type body", well...I don't!! So, my friend made me see her, I had refused for months, but she finally conviced me, and it did help a lot!! She is one of the uglist women I have ever seen and I am not just saying that! She smoked too and my XH and I HATE smoking, I mean despised smoking, she had a cat, my XH hated cats, said we would never have one no matter what, and her body...yes, she is skinny, but very, very skinny, gross skinny, bag of bones skinny. YUCK, she is just beyond gross. And, all these women who sleep with married men are horrible people inside as well, they are morally bankrupt! They are losers who are willing to hide for a man who doesn't respect them at all.

You are very strong and your S is learning very valuable things that he shouldn't have to learn at such a young age, but that will hopefully help him become a better man. That he learns from your H's mistakes is all you can hope for cause the example these men are setting are not good ones at all.

Antonia, I again, agree with you 100%!! I have learned so much from all that has happened, but yet still at times feel like a complete failure and want to fix it all for that reason. I am the first person in my family to be divorced, on both sides..I have a couple of cousins that have been, but not anyone else. My parents have been married for 56 years!! I always wanted to be married and have kids, it was my dream, never was into having a career, just a great family to raise and a husband to love. I sat on the floor in my laundry room on Saturday night, bawling my eyes out begging God to give me my life back!! It was so awful!

I had a very long talk with my best friend (who is a man and was my high school boyfriend) last night, he knows me very well and knows everything about my life with XH. He said some very insightful things to me and it has helped me so much today. He is my biggest cheerleader and helped me feel very confident that I will find someone someday when I am not "looking" so to speak, and I agree. I just know right now isn't the time for that, as you said Antoina about yourself too, we just aren't in that place yet. I am raising three kids alone, two with some very serious issues that takes a lot of parenting and time, I just don't have the time or emotional energy to date someone right now, therefore, I believe God knows that and will introduce me to the right person when I am ready.

Reading all this helps me a lot and I apprecaite everyone on here so much. Thanks for sharing and stay strong, there is a plan and a reason to all this madness...I am not going to "drink XH's kool-aid" anymore!!

A