All you can really do at this point karma is work on yourself. Try to imagine what you would be like if you took all the energy you waste on anxiety and channeled it into getting stronger.
Ultimately you need to accept that you may or may not be able to save your M, but your best chance lies in becoming a better man. If things do not work out for you, it will also put you in a better position to move forward and make your life into something great without her.
If that just sounds too painful, you are probably too tied up in her emotionally, and that is one of the reasons you have found yourself in this position. Society propagates all kinds of myths about the role of a man in a healthy R, and as nice guys, we buy into them. We make our W our everything, and lose sight of the fact that in order to have a healthy R, what we need more than anything else is a strong sense of self.
Without that strong sense of self, our W lose respect for us, and with it goes attraction (or in "we need to talk" terms ILYBINILWY).
I know it is a hard road you are on, and I truly feel for you. Work on detaching, being happy with yourself, and developing a strong sense of self.
Decide that your happiness depends on nobody else but you (so true, but possibily the most difficult thing to actually live, I have yet to master it).
SF
Spellfire aka Mike
"Women do not like controlling men. They respect and are attracted to men who control themselves. They ultimately are repelled by men who allow themselves to be controlled." -S&A
