Yep, anger is still a struggle. I don't think I should expect otherwise, but it is what it is. I expect the anger to come and go while the divorce and sep agreement are still not final. Makes sense academically. I was talking to some friends last night and realized I am SOOO sick and tired of the conversation. Yuck. I want different. I want something else. I get concerned that because of the kids, I will have to see her again. My concern is that while I need to forgive her, I still have that anger at what she did and don't want to talk to her. Right now, I doubt I could say as much as hello without feeling anger.. Silly I know, but again, it is what it is. Don't get me wrong. I know I need to stay away from her and I have no desire to be anywhere else but away from her. But she seems to want to talk on the phone. I feel like she is putting me in a position where if I don't, I'm the bad guy. That's not silly - she has been very manipulative throughout. I realize she was sabotaging my relationships with the kids as much as she could even before the revelation. I get that now and I have some resentment about it. The only saving part is that I don't think she did it consciously. Even that I wonder but only becuase of my deep distrust of her.
Done venting
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
