I want to chime in here because I think I'm kinda on the other side of the detachment thing. Have I given up? Maybe. Is there no turning back? Absolutely not! Do I still care? Of course! Do I love her. Of Course. Would I bend over backward to help her if she needed it. Sure.
The point is, my head is on straight and I've put myself first again. I don't have kids, but if I did they would be first. I can think for myself. I do things for myself, not for her. An example. She offered to come and see me over the holidays. When she did, it was clear it was for the wrong reasons. She was lonely and looking to me to salve her pain. I would have LOVED to see her. But I was able to say no and to tell her she should see her estranged family instead. Was this my last chance for R? Maybe. But if it was it wouldn't have worked. I can see it now. 3 months ago I couldn't.
Detachment is about working on yourself. Getting strong again. And in the end strength is very attractive. It just might be the thing that saves your M, or leads you to your next relationship, or makes you happy to be with yourself again.
M:37 W:34 M:4 years T:6 years No Kids A disclosed - 9/1/2010 W asks for separation - 10/19/2010 Moving on - 10/24/2010 A ends (and I believe her) - 12/2010 Content - 3/1/2011 Served - 3/18/2011 D Day - 6/20/2011
