Forgiveness

[NotFromThesePart]

I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness the last couple of days. I see my role in my D. I understand it. In the end I've come to the conclusion that while much was my fault, the majority was her. She had the A. I didn't. I could have gotten over it. She either couldn't or didn't believe I could. That was our undoing.

I'm moving on, starting a new life. I want to forgive her. I can forgive her. But I'm feeling a lot of resentment. She doesn't see her actions were wrong. She will say she handled if poorly but in the end she can't see it as a mistake. She had an affair with her married boss, and now there are two divorces in the works. To me, this is a clear case of a moral failure. A mistake. An error. Even if she wanted out beforehand, she should have handled it better. She could have handled it better. To me the affair was a mistake. It was wrong, but to err is human.

I forgive her for this. Truly. But I'm still having a hard time moving on. If she would admit this. If she would just admit the affair was a failure on her part. If she would see it, I think it would be good for both of us and for whatever future relationship we may have.

I'm not looking to get back together. I'm not looking for reconciliation, that boat has sailed. But I want to release the anger and resentment. How do I do this, when we see the central issue of the D so differently?

Can such an affair EVER be justified? She had options. She chose poorly. How do you forgive someone who won't admit they made a mistake?