Piecing is almost harder than before...

[Harrier]

Well guys.

One good thing came out of the big fight last Tuesday. My W said now she really feels I get her perspective. You know what I am 1000 % more patient than I was a week ago. Weekend was great. In fact the last 5 days or so have been smooth. I think I finally had my a-ha moment (or my JTB moment)

1. First, I do miss the physical connection, but I don't need it. I want it but don't need it.

2. I have the mantra "when she's ready." As is she will kiss me When she's ready. I have 100% faith that she will be ready. She's here, she's in the house, I see and talk to her. I have all the advantages.

3. I'm glad I chose to explore why I was impatient. For me it wasn't working to just say "don't be impatient."

4. I'm really starting to enjoy just having her around as opposed to having us all over each other.

5. A thought about trying to read your W's actions. Most would say just stop, but that always isn't realistic. Our MC suggested this. We all tend to fill in the story for actions we see. Right after our W does something and before we react we have a choice about how we interpret the action - a positive way and a negative way. Why do you always have to go the negative route when the positive is just as likely and makes things so much better.
My example - I ran a 1/2 marathon on Saturday morning. I told my wife I was leaving and she walked with me to the front door. I thought she might kiss me as she usually does before I race. But No.
I got in the car and was about to get upset about it, then I thought. She stopped what she was doing and walked me to the front, wisedh me good luck and told me to call her when I was done. When she could have just said "See ya later" from the other room.
Then I started to feel pretty darn good about her actions. I could've thought since she didn't give me a kiss she doesn't love me but instead I thought what she did was nice and caring. And I'd rather have had that than a kiss where she really didn't care.

She also texted me just before the start to wish me luck and told me not to freeze my buns off.

I'm finding it's easier and easier to put a positive spin on things. There are a lot of positive feelings around our house.

With my W, I know she's one for the big splash. So I suspect she will ask me to ML again instead of just starting little physical affection. But since that is off the table this week there will be no expectations.

Lastly, I've also been keeping notes in my phone where I highlight a few positive things my wife did that day. It really helps to see all the little things she's been doing.