LBS Conundrum

[AntoniaB]

True, I have a question: how do you interpret things when the XH is doing this: "I had an MLC and now it's over. My MLC showed me that you were not the right marriage partner for me. My new girlfriend is. Now I'm a WAS who simply made the choice to be true to my desires. It's not you. You're a great person. I just think she is a better choice for me now. I'm sorry that I went behind your back and cheated and dropped this bomb on you, but it's what I needed to do to be true to myself."

My XH is not, to my knowledge, engaging in behavior destructive to himself. He claims he drinks far less than before. He works still and is doing some after-school tutoring for extra money. He doesn't look like hell. He looks healthy. He has broken away almost entirely from all our mutual friends and now has her friends as his friends. He lives in her world. He is starting over completely, getting an apt. now, building a life with her.

One day, he was telling me let's renew our vows. 3 days later, drops the bomb, and that was that. 8 months later, divorce.

MLC or WAS? Or is this what you're saying is the continuum, it's both?

But I do think you're absolutely right about the advice above.

I just know that with complete detachment as we are in now, I don't see my S ever wanting to be with me again as he has replaced our life together with an entirely different one, virtually overnight.