Re-Bolt

[Bolt]

xyz, well, my W and I decided that we won't let our emotions overtake our situation and that if something wasn't working, we would bring it up. So last night, I did. We talked about our R and got into some serious yelling (that is pretty good, I think since we haven't in a long time).

AND we got to a point where we both decided to stop really "worrying" about the relationship and just let it happen. I think what is happening with the WAS and mine in particular is that she is confused not too much about the R but definitely about herself. NOW compound that with me wondering, what the heck is going on in the relationship - being little impatient and having expectations.

It's almost a little too much for her.

I guess I thought of it that way. Not only is she wondering if this R will work - BECAUSE, what if she takes "too long" figuring things out and I leave?? That's something that's on her mind. What if I DON'T change?

Both valid questions...

and to top it off, she's trying to figure out herself.

The only thing I'm doing is trying to save the M. She does have a lot more on her plate.

SO...I can help things along by just being there. Continue to be the new guy that I have been but just let things happen.

Don't analyze everything. Realize she wants this to work. She just doesn't know how.

AND I've actually been sabotaging myself, if you think about it. She needs to find this on her terms. Every time, I grow impatient and push her, she gets more confused and almost takes a step back. That just ends up hurting me more.

Yeah, the contact and sexual tension is great but I have to remember the times when the R is not in the forefront. We get along great and she even starts some contact.

XYZ -you are right too in realizing that she's working too. I HIGHLY doubt she's just sitting back and waiting. She's processing this stuff. Processing at a speed that we men do not understand. It's as easy and as complicated as that.

I usually say stay strong but I think I'm going to change my line to stay patient.

so. Stay patient!