So what do you want, Abbey? If you confront H, he will either deny or confess and that will cause you to make a decision to ask him to leave or have him stay even though he's cheating. From what you've said, you don't want him staying if he's admitting an A.
You really want him to end the A and work on the M. But if he doesn't, do you think you can continue to act as if? If you knew he would come to his senses, could you be the "greener pasture"?
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
