I hear what you are saying Al and my sister is one of those who tried for years and spent tens of thousands of dollars on fertility treatments with no results. She gets very emotional around the holidays and when she is around people with babies sometimes.
However I do think there is a difference. In the case of someone struggling with infertility, there never was a baby. They are morning the dream of something they wanted but never had.
In my case, I had my husband. And he is not dead and gone. I have to see him and hear him and communicate with him. Imagine if you had your baby taken from you but it was raised in your small town and you saw your child all the time but could not take him/her home with you...
This morning Sydney was asking for her daddy so I let her call him. They talked for about 5 minutes and her voice was very small and sad. He texted me about 40 minutes later "Is she ok"
I just replied that she missed her daddy and missed her family. In fact yesterday she told me "daddy says he loves you and wants to live together again" but she had made that up.
He replied that he was glad she called bc he missed her too. I replied, "Yes I miss them too when they are with you. Sharing them is difficult." And he replied "Yes it [censored] but that is the way it will be so we will just have to do the best for them that we can"
She gets very emotional around the holidays and when she is around people with babies sometimes.