The Lies and Deception Killing Me

[abbey1989]

Yesterday was rough. H got up and went to the gym and then came home and left on his motorcycle for 4 hrs. He didn't answer his phone when I tried to call a couple of times as it got closer to the time we were to be at a friend's house to watch the Oscars. By that point I was getting pretty mad. He said he wouldn't be gone long but he was. I left after calling him to go get some appetizers at a restaurant for the Oscar party we were going to.

Then he called and I didn't answer. On purpose. He called a few other times and finally about 1/2 hr later, I did answer. He was furious that I didn't answer! I was trying to be mysterious and not always seem like I am at his beck and call especially after he decides to be gone most of Sunday. He compared this to me not answering a couple of Fridays ago when he called me and I was at the movie store and then said I would pick up dinner. I had left my phone in the car (by accident) and didn't realize that he had locked his keys in his car and he was wanting me to bring him a spare. He told my daughter that he was mad and he even said to her, "I get it...paybacks". That was so odd because I wasn't purposefully trying to miss his call.

I honestly know that I need to start working on me and stop worrying about what he is doing. I need to start living my life instead of worrying about where H is and who H is with.

I need to stop pursuing when he is here and just be pleasant and not mopey. I am having a hard time of that lately. I need to renew insterest in my hobbies and I need to GAL. If H doesn't want to work on our house on the weekends, I'll do it myself. So that is my plan. I hope it will keep me busy enough to stop obsessing about things that I can not control.

If anyone has any suggestions about getting out there and taking action to overcome obsessive thoughts and depression in general, please let me know. Thanks for listening.